Life is complicated.
I miss simpler times when everything made sense and I never really had to think about things. But I guess that is part of growing up. It's scary to think about, but everything you do really does affect what happens in life. I just get thinking about things like that every once in awhile and it really starts to mess me up. I just wonder what would have happened if I had done things differently. Like if I had applied myself more back in high school, would I be at SFA right now? I doubt it. Not that I don't love SFA or think it's a bad school, but if I had graduated with a higher class rank I could be at a different school right now blogging about something entirely different and have a completely different group of friends. I can't imagine what life would be like without some of the people I know now. I also wonder if I had gotten better grades last semester and during high school and could actually save money if my parents would be proud of me. I know they say they are always proud of me, but I just feel like a disappointment sometimes. I don't mean to sound like a pity party, but no one reads this anyways so I just need to let out my emotions sometimes. Also, I wish certain people would realize how great they truly are. It's not like they have a case of low self-esteem, it's just....it seems like they don't think they are as awesome as they really are compared to others if that makes any sense at all? I just hate to see people I care about feel that way. I miss times with Diane that were so simple when we could just go to the mall and drink starbucks everyday and buy new shoes. i was just thinking about when we all went to go see The Fray the summer before college and makes me miss all that.
i can't wait for thanksgiving break to just relax and not have to worry about any of this.
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