Wide Awake

So it's almost 2 a.m. and I am still awake which is interesting since I've been up since 8 a.m. Well, maybe not because I've had a scary large amount of caffeine today. Today was a very chill today. Lots of yummy food though. Bleeker Street for lunch. Stacey's Deli for dinner, Whataburger for dinner number 2. haha. This entry has been pretty much pointless and I'm sorry if you wasted your time reading this paragraph!

Bagels

So I've pretty much become a loner this semester. I mean, obviously I have all my friends still but it seems like I never hang out with them as much. And that makes me sad. Earlier tonight I was in one of those moods that you get in for no apparent reason. I was just feeling really weird and sad. So I was sick of being in my room so I decided to walk over to Einsteins to get a peanut butter bagel. They were out of peanut butter. How can you be out of peanut butter? Just go to the grocery store and buy more. Sigh. So I got the second best topping: strawberry cream cheese. Even though I normally hate cream cheese I love that stuff. I came back to the room and ate my yummy bagel and took a warm shower and started to feel better. Now I'm just watching Sex And The City. So changing subjects kind of randomly, I have decided that I want to try and stop being so jaded and cynical when it comes to relationships and love. Maybe there is a kind of love that can last for 50 years. I've only been on this planet a short time, so I really can't judge yet. I still have so much to experience. I just want someone who will sit outside with me all night and look up at the stars and talk about life and stay up to see the sunrise. :]

25 Things

25 Things....

1. I don't in any way, shape, or form believe in soulmates. And I don't understand how people who believe in them say they will probably never meet their soulmate. If you never meet them, then they can't exist. It's like if a tree falls in a forest but if there is no one around to hear it, did it really fall? The answer is no.

2. If you can't tell from that first fact about me, I am at a stage in my life where I am very jaded by the idea of love and relationships. When children are growing up, they are led to believe by Disney movies that love is great and there is always a Prince Charming. But people grow up and fall in love, and then they fall out of love. It's been hard for me lately to grasp the concept of love and how people can remain happy for more than a couple years.

3. I am trying really hard this semester to raise my GPA. I have been doing so well so far, but am worried my old habits will come back in a week or two. I just need to know I can have determination that lasts more than a week.

4. I have come to the conclusion that I am more productive when I have alone time. I can't study in groups or be distracted by the TV or music. I need quiet and emptiness to get things done.

5. I never wear matching socks. That's boring.

6. Now that I've been out of high school for about two years, I find it amusing to see what my old classmates are up to whenever I go home. Some have changed for the better, and some have definitely changed for the worse.

7. Back in high school I always felt underestimated, and I know that is partly my fault. I only did enough work to get by, and wasn't involved in any extracurriculars. I know my parents say they are always proud of me, but I just want them to actually be proud for once. I got to college and got involved with a bunch of stuff but the same old school habits caught up to me. This semester I will not feel underestimated again.

8. I don't really have a "type" when it comes to boys necessarily, but I always go for the "nice" guys. They don't have to listen to a certain type of music or wear certain clothes, or have certain hobbies. I just always go for the guy that has a lot of female friends and that everyone loves.

9. Unlike most people, I have had only long-term serious relationships. I have not just "dated" or just talked to people. But that is all changing. I just want to be able to have something fun and not worry about all the seriousness of it all for once.

10. I would love to be a fashion designer if I could have any career. Or a rock star. I would love to be able to get up in front of thousands of people and sing my songs and rock out on a guitar.

11. I really do believe that timing is everything in life. When you meet certain people and when you do certain things all depends on time. Sometimes the time is right, and sometimes it's not and we just have to accept that fact.

12. My life will be complete when I see Pavement live. I have loved this band since I was in ninth grade, and when they finally reunite, I will be first in line to see them. I don't care about money or the place; seeing them would make every dream come true.

13. Speaking of Pavement, I have come to the conclusion that the book Love Is A Mixtape is my favorite book in the entire world. The love in that book is the kind of love that I want to have someday. However, his love is taken away from him after a few short years. Life is just not fair.

14. I want to live in New York City someday. Well not someday; I want to move there after college. I don't care about money, I just want to follow my dreams.

15. Speaking of money, for some reason I am just really bad with it. I have been working a steady job since the week I turned 16, and have made close to $30,000. And I don't have any of that. It's quite sad. I am trying to work on that. I really need to buy my own car soon.

16. I love vitamin water. I can't really get through the day without it, which sucks when I don't have that much money to spend on it. My dining dollars go too quickly when I buy one everyday.

17. I hate "about me" sections on social networking sites. It's like, I can't just describe myself in one of those boxes because my personality and existence is way more complicated than that. That's why I have this blog. That no one reads anymore.

18. I love music and always have. I'm always looking to find my new favorite band.

19. I hate fake people and people who are always talking trash about people they hardly know. First impressions are not always correct.

20. I can never remember my dreams. All my friends tell me about the crazy dreams they have, but I have not remembered any of my dreams in a long time.

21. I'm kind of a Starbucks junkie. I have grown to love coffee. Black coffee. I'm a caffeine addict.

22. I hate not having a car here at school. I am an independent person in many aspects, and hate having to rely on people even when they say they don't mind.

23. I love stargazing. I just like to imagine what is really out there and what it would be like in space. I want to find someone who would sit outside with me all night and talk with until sunrise.

24. Coming to school here was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Even though I am from the city, I enjoy being somewhere completely different. I love all the people I have met here and all the activities I participate in.

25. I know I said I do not believe in soul mates, but there is a little part of me deep down inside that wants to meet someone someday that will be the missing piece in my jigsaw puzzle.

Life's Little Surprises

So today was interesting. Only had one class and it was at 11, so sleeping in was nice. I went to Feature Writing and it's going to be a good class. It's inspiring and helps me think of more ideas for the paper, which is good. The rest of the day I pretty much just stayed in my room and studied for my first Marketing quiz tomorrow. I'm really hoping all this studying has paid off, because I really need to start off the semester right. We shall see. So anyways, I'm sitting on Facebook just creeping around, and I see Unicycle Boy's status said something about wanting to have a conversation with someone new, so I decided, what the heck, I'll just start chatting with him. So we talked for awhile just about school and music and all that jazz, and he's pretty legit. He's apparantely been going bowling a lot lately, and so he was like, well I think I'm going to go bowling. And then he said I was welcome to come along. So I decided, what the heck, I am going to go bowling with him. And we went and had a really good time. . And he rides a unicycle, I mean, how ballin' is that? haha so we shall see.

Blah Blah and more Blah

"Life is just blah, blah, blah. You hope for blah. And sometimes you find it. But mostly it is blah. And waiting for blah. And hoping you are right about the blah's you made and then just when you think you have the whole blah damned thing figured out and you are surrounded by the ones you blah death shows up. And blah blah blah."

This quote pretty much described the day I have had. The weather was so dreary today. And yesterday. And the day before yesterday. I had to wake up at 8 a.m. for classes and have not felt good all day. I'm just sick of everything already and the second week of school just started. Hopefully when things with the paper and sorority start up this and next week things will be better. And only a couple more days of this crappy weather. I miss the sun. I couldn't live up in the Pacific Northwest as much as I do want to meet Edward Cullen. Classes have been going just fine I guess. I've really been studying hard, especially for my Marketing classes. I am going to try my hardest to make all A's. I know I can do it.

Productive Saturday

Well today has been the most productive day ever! I woke up at 10:30 this morning. On a Saturday! Unbelievable. Well I got dressed and everything and then went to go get some brunch togo from the cafeteria. Then I went to the library for a couple of hours and finished taking notes for my Marketing class. Then I came back to the room and cleaned up for awhile. Then I went to go get some dindin. Then I came back to the room and got ready to go work out. I worked out and burned some calories and then came back to my room and am doing laundry now. Totally productive. And I am going to do more studying in a little bit. I am very proud of myself for keeping up with my studies. I know I say I want to do things differently every semester and I never do, but i actually am this semester. I have been trying to stay unbored today because I'm basically the only one in town. Courtney is at UNT for the day for music stuff. Jordan and Kevin are in Houston for the night. Stevie is job hunting and spending time with her roommate. But Court should be back in a few hours and then we are going to continue cleaning. yay for productiveness!

Back To Business

So I've been back in Nac since Monday and have been pretty busy, thus the lack of updates. This week has been pretty good so far. Monday night Stevie and I went over to Kevin's apartment where Jordan cooked us dinner. Then we watched Burn After Reading and played some Wii. Classes started yesterday. Long day for me, because I have four classes on Wednesday. My two Marketing classes in the morning were OK. The professors seem kind of iffy right now, but we'll see in a couple weeks. I plan to work very hard this semester to get all A's. I know I can do it, I just need to put some serious effort in. Then I had a break until the afternoon so I hung out with Allison for awhile. Then I had anthropology class with my roommate so that was pretty cool. Then I went to New Media, which is going to be a tedious class. But it will give me lots of experience so that's good. We have to do a New Media blog every week, so I'll have two blogs now. Today I just had Feature Writing, which will be fun. And easy, considering all I did last semester at the paper was write features basically. But like half the staff of the paper is actually in that class. Three out of five editors and a few staff members. Fun times. Outside of class I've been hanging out mainly with Jordan and Kevin. Last night we watched LOST and then went over to Kevin's place to play Scrabble. Fun times.

happy inauguration day!

Today Barack Obama is being inaugurated as the 44th president. It's pretty epic. I am currently watching it on CNN's website. :] I keep reading about how crowded it is in D.C. and how all the journalists up there are getting 2 hours of sleep and having to sleep in offices and I can't wait until I'll be able to do stuff like that. :]

Parking garages and ice cream

Only one more day until I head back! Happy about that. :] Tonight hung out with Brandon one last time before I go back, and we had a hilarious time, as always. Met up at the Shops at Legacy to see Slumdog Millionaire. I get there first so I go to get tickets, to find out it is sold out. Sad day. We decided to go see Revolutionary Road instead, but had time to kill before that. It got really cold out after sunset, so I needed to go back to my car in the parking garage to get my hoodie after Brandon got there. We walk into the parking garage and I was having trouble finding my car. We checked every level, but it was nowhere to be found. We kept walking up and down and around, and soon I start freaking out because my car was seriously not in there. We probably spent around 30 to 45 minutes walking around that garage. So we decided just to get in Brandon's car and drive around the garage to look for it. It seriously was not there. So we leave the garage to turn around, and see another parking garage across the way. We go into this other parking garage that we were not aware of, and sure enough...my car was in there. So mad that we wasted allll that time. haha. But anyways, then we got some icecream and went to go see the movie. It was pretty good; depressing and all that though. All in all it was an entertaining evening like always.

reminders!!

ok so here's my reminders of things i need to take care of before monday! i always loose paper lists so this should work better.

-haircut.
-bank.
-come up with ideas for alum weekend.
-story ideas!!
-hang with brandon on saturday.
-laundry.
-finish packing dvds/rest of clothes.

hmmm

so i'm not really sure what to think about certain things. i had everything figured out last week, but apparantly not. it's just hard to know how to proceed from here...but i'm just going to see what happens. it's not a big deal at all if nothing occurs, but then again i don't want to be wasting my time.

i heart animal collective

so i'm finally starting to get into merriweather post pavillion. i've never really cared much for this experimental avante garde music like explosions in the sky and all that, but i am really starting to like animal collective. this album is just so weird, but good....interesting. so anyways, i have come to the conclusion that my sleep schedule is screwed. i had my alarm set for 10:30 this morning, and as soon as kanye started blaring i turned the alarm off and slept like a baby for 2 more hours. bad bad bad. bum bum bum. especially when i have 9 a.m. class next week. sigh. and i realized that i have only woken up before 10:30 once this entire break. that is going to kill me next week. but i'm turning over a new leaf so i'm going to have to manage. well today i had fried pickles with diane, and they were amazing. then we grabbed starbucks and said our goodbyes until spring break. then went out to dindin for my sister's birthday. :] four more days!! :)

bartering lines

so. only five days left until i head back for spring semester. thank goodness. i think this semester is going to be grand. i just bought new school supplies so i can actually be organized for classes and newspaper and such. i am going to miss diane and brandon when i get back though. i am seeing diane for the last time tomorrow. starbucks date. and then brandon and i are seeing slumdog millionaire on saturday, which better be the most amazing movie ever after all i've heard about it. and then sunday is just family time. this week is already going by fast, which is good and bad. i've had a good break, just been very relaxing, which is what i needed after a crazy semester. nothing else too important has been going on.

the world is your oyster

it is quite windy outside.
i hope the house doesn't blow down.
just watched six episodes of sex and the city.
oh how i love it.
"maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. maybe they're supposed to run wild
until they find someone just as wild to run with."
♥

crazy driving, cupcakes, and shopping

today was pretty grand. diane, beca, kelley and i all went to northpark and sprinkles and assorted other places for the day. diane and i met up with beca and kelley at northpark and grabbed some lunchie lunch at the food court. i finally tried which wich, which was pretty good. and plus they had my favorite flavor of vitamin water, so that was pretty much amazing. then we did some shopping around the mall and i got a cute new little vest and a new pair of jeans. then we left northpark to go to sprinkles, and that is where the fun began. we had beca and kelley following us, and like i had forgotten how to get there sort of, so i was driving all crazy around I-75 and park lane and we finally found it but they were not too amused when we got there, especially because i don't use my turn signal when i drive. lol. but we got there and omg the cupcakes were amazing. i got one of the elvis ones and one with a cute little peace sign on it. and omg they were soooooo good. totally worth the 6.50 for two cupcakes. lol. so then we came back around here and got some starbucks and played around at the mall and took more pictures. it was a magical day. then i went to work for a few hours, and tommy and i played the "would you rather" game and it was quite amusing. so i basically got paid for four hours to play games lol. today was a great day. :]

I wanna ask you to dance right there

today was probably one of the most boring days of my life. seriously did nothing all day. tomorrow will be loads of fun though. diane, kelley, and beca and i are going to northpark and sprinkles for a day of fun. haven't had sprinkles in like a year and a half, so diane and i are very excited. starting tomorrow they are releasing "elvis" cupcakes with peanut butter and bananas, and they sound AMAZING. :] however, i can't spend too much monies at northpark because i really need to be saving up for school. speaking of school, i really cannot wait to get back! only a week and a half, thank goodness! i have missed everyone and everything. this semester is going to be grand, i can just feel it. :]
peace, ♥, and cupcakes.

cause everybody wants a shady lane

rain rain go away come again another day.
i hate cold rainy weather.
unless i'm at home all warm and snug like a bug in a rug.
yay for gossip girl being new tonight.
yay for only two more weeks until reuniting with everyone.
boo for having to leave 2 of my best friends for awhile.
i giggle to myself for how you act sometimes.
it's quite amusing.

Thoughts on life and love

I have come to the conclusion that 99% of people my age or around my age are extremely immature about relationships. There are a number of things that frustrate me about people and hearing them complain about certain things. First off, why do people think at the age of 19 or 20 that they will never find that "perfect" person. Of course you'll find that person; you're just starting your life, why can't you be single and play the field and just enjoy life first. You don't always have to be in a relationship to feel validated about yourself. After being in a relationship for a year and a half, I'm still getting used to being "single" but it's a good feeling. Just being able to to be free and have "me" time is validating for myself. I don't understand why people view being single as a bad thing. It's not. It's a time for self-reflection. It's a time to figure out what you want from the world. So stop complaining about being single and put that time to good use. You'll find someone sooner than you think.
Second of all, I don't understand why young people find it important to be in serious long-term relationships. I know I haven't been one to talk due to the past couple of years, but after reflecting I have discovered that being in a relationship like that didn't allow me to explore my full potential. Not that it was a bad relationship, just the fact that when you're young you should be concentrating on yourself and your own dreams. Things shouldn't be taken so seriously until you find out what you really want from life and are mature enough to make long term decisions. Things change drastically from one year to another, and we grow up in ways we never thought we could. And I don't know if it's just because I'm young, but I have recently come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a "soulmate". I just honestly think we could be happy with a number of people. It just depends on the timing of each relationship and when we get ready to settle down. Think about your failed relationships and why they ended. In some form or another, they all ended because the timing was off. Everyone we meet and the relationship we form with them is about timing. Timing is everything in life.

while you debate half empty or half full...

today was an okay day.
had lunch with some old friends.
bottomless express lunch that is.
yum baked potato soup.
although i only nibble at it.
tomorrow will be amazing,
cause i get to hang with one of my best friends.
i'm trying to save money, i really am.
i'm trying not to think i still have two more weeks here.
boring boring boring.
i want to get back.

i'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite album back...

so it's almost one a.m.
and i'm just basically blogging about pointless things.
james bond came into my work today.
or so the credit card machine told me.
i haven't heard any trains yet tonight.
you know,
i wish people could just always say what's on their minds, all the time
like,
if you want to tell someone something,
why not just say it.
but then,
life would be too easy.
and there would be no complications.
and what would be the fun in that?

feels so unnatural, peter gabriel too

"...and i kissed you in a style that clark gable would have admired...."

i love the postal service...and i love clark gable even more. so it's fitting that this is my favorite song of the moment. :] 2009 started off just fine. was watching the office at home with the parental units. nothing exciting, but it was nice to have a break from everything. i have a feeling this is going to be a good year. i feel like i am going to do some growing up. like hopefully actually be able to save money and buy a car. and hopefully get an internship out of state and be on my own for awhile. i need something like that. hopefully it will be an exciting year. :]