planes, trains, and automobiles at 1:36 a.m.

one of my favorite little things in the world is the sound of train whistles outside late at night or when i am trying to fall asleep. and i love how i can hear them when i'm at school outside my window too. they are just so peaceful and help lull me to sleep. i want to buy one of those tapes like with the animal sounds or whatever that people listen to before they fall asleep but with train whistles instead.

Goodbye 2008

So, I've been on break for a little over two weeks now, and exactly what I knew was going to happen finally happened. I'm bored. The first two weeks of break were good, but now I'm so ready to get back to school. Well not the actual school part, but I miss all my friends. I've just been working here and trying to save up some money. That isn't going so well though. Too many cute things to buy. New Years is coming up in a couple days. I will apparantly be spending New Year's Eve with the parental units at home because I'm lame. Oh well. I've spent the last three New Year's Eve's with boys so this will be a nice change. 2009 will be a good year. I feel like there will be lots of changes and growing up to do though. Which excites me. I will be turning 20, and getting closer to finishing college. And hopefully interning somewhere exciting during the summer.

It's Beginning to Look A lot Like Christmas

I can't believe Christmas Eve is tomorrow! Totally doesn't feel like it. I am really excited about Christmas this year. It's so weird, because when I was a little kid obviously I loved Christmas, but when I got to high school the excitement kind of died down for some reason. But now I'm excited about it for different reasons. I just really appreciate the time spent with loved ones and being able to have time off from everything and the world. Well the past couple days I've just been working and making those dolla dolla bills y'all. And catching up on the last three seasons of One Tree Hill so I can be caught up by January 5. lol. I can totally do that in the next two weeks. :)

Stop living in the past

I think some people take life too seriously. Just have fun and enjoy the ride. Life moves pretty fast; if you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you may miss it.

Lovers Are Losing

Today was an alright day. Worked and made me some monay monay. I love making money. It makes me feel better about myself. I've been getting more hours than I thought I would, which is good. I have to work Christmas Eve, but only until 6 at the latest which is alright. I need the money so badly I am not going to complain. Plus, I had Christmas Eve off last year, so it's okay. I worked until 5 today, and then the sister and I went and did some window shopping. I just discovered they opened a Movie Trading Company at the mall, so that was exciting. Then we redboxed Step Brothers and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Fun times for all.
Ok, this blog was basically pointless, but you get brownie points if you read that. haha.

Darn you, caffeine

It's 1:38 a.m. and I am still wide awake. Usually around this time I start to bat my eyelids and try to stay up a few more minutes to check out what's happening on Facebook. However, I, being the smart person that I am, decided to drink a bunch of soda and caffeine at work late tonight. Not the best idea ever, since I am finally just starting to get my sleep schedule back on a semi-normal track. So here I am leaving this slur on your machine...er on your screen, thanks Death Cab....
Anyways, break has actually been pretty good so far! But then again, I've only been here for a week, so things could start getting kind of boring after the thrill of Christmas goes away. The more that I have been thinking about things, I really don't want to jump into another serious relationship anytime soon. Yes, there are cute boys to talk to, but I don't intend on trying to rein one in. If they are there, then great, I want to be able to have fun. If it happens, it happens, but I'm not going to force anything right now. Especially because I need to get my grades in check next month. Anyways, I am going to have some reading goals for break. I want to get through the majority of the books in the stacks on my floor right now, and a couple other Chuck Klosterman books, because I love him so.

Change

So, after dwelling upon this for a few days, I have decided to officially change my second major/minor to Marketing. I originally had Photography as my second major, but decided that may not be the best thing for me. I have already taken a photography class, and can get experience taking pictures for the newspaper so I can have those for my portfolio. I want a minor where I can learn something that has meat, and there are only so many things you can "learn" in a classroom with photography. So, that is why I am changing to Marketing. Plus, I've already taken Advertising for my major, so I've got a background in it already. However, I've heard these Marketing classes are very hard, so I am really going to have to step it up this semester. Since I dropped the two art classes my schedule is a lot different now. Sadly I have two MWF classes from 9 to 10:50, but at least I will get everything done earlier. And, I only have one class on T/TR which will give me more free time to study and get stuff done with my other activities. I am really going to buckle down and make sure school is going to be my number 1 priority. If I spent half as much time as I do on the computer that I do on studying, my grades would be great. So I am going to make sure I really do this.

Decisions, decisions, decisions

Well I found out my new GPA yesterday, and let's just say I am not too happy. And neither are the parental units, which is never good, especially after last semester's fiasco with losing the scholarship and everything. Like, it's not that taking 18 hours killed me; it was the fact that I was taking 18 hours along with being an editor at the paper, and doing the sorority and a couple other things is what did me in. If I didn't have all that extra stuff I could have done much better grades-wise. So I decided that next semester I am only going to take 15 hours since things at the paper are going to be in overdrive now that I am Managing Editor. However, now I am not too sure about this whole Photography thing. I wonder if I should change my minor/second major to something else, but I'm not sure what. I keep going back and forth between Psychology and Political Science or something like that, but I'm not sure. And it sucks because I have to decide in the next few days because I need to start my minor classes this semester. After this semester I only have three more classes left for my major, which is kind of scary. I am already halfway done with my college career. Wow. I love college so much, but the real world will be great too. I can't wait to actually make real money and have my own cute little apartment and a cute little puppy and a cute boy. Boy comes last though. Work and puppy are more important to me right now. Haha. Now that I've been out of high school for about two years, it's funny to see all your old classmates and see if they are becoming successful...or not. I am so happy I found a career path that I am going to enjoy. I just wish I could pick a minor tract. I guess I will just have to sleep on it and make a permanent decision in the next few days.

Vlog Numero 2

My winter blues entry

When I look back on the last few years, I tell myself I have learned so much, and have developed into a more adult as each day goes by. But today I felt like I took a few steps back. I feel like I know nothing about the world and am not ready for certain adult events to happen in my life. Whenever something bad happens to me or any of my loved ones, I usually shut myself out and down in order not to have to deal with the situation or the heartbreak. But I have finally realized I have to stop doing that if I am going to grow anymore. It's hard. It's really hard. But I need to take more responsibility and shape up for others in my life that are having a harder go of things. There are more important things to worry about than buying a new outfit or what is going on on The Hills. I recently found out my best friend's mother has cancer, and today we found out it is pretty bad, and has spread. It breaks my heart to see the struggle that she and her family are going to have to go through in the next few years. I really want to try and not shut myself out in this situation, because hopefully it will give me strength for similar situations in my own family. It's time for me to grow up and take on more responsibility.

Another big thing that has been on my mind is the thought of "forever" and marriage. How do we know when we are finally ready to settle down and have found that perfect person. Is there really only one person we can be happy with forever? No, I really don't think so. I think there are numerous people we could be happy with, it just depends on the timing. Timing is everything in life. That may sound kind of depressing, but it's so true. All of our failed relationships depended on timing. At one point I thought I would be able to get married right when I finished college, but a few months ago and most recently today, I realized I am not cut out for marriage for a very very long time. I have so much more maturing to do and need to find out what kind of person I am going to become. I will be a much different person at the age of say, 23, than I am now at 19. Both relationships I have had, I took very seriously. In both relationships we talked about the possibility of marriage, which, now that I look back wish I had never done. At this age I should be having fun, and dating a variety of people so I can find out what I should be looking for in the future. It's great if I meet someone I really like and/or love, but I don't want to think about marriage in general until I am well into my 20's. If I actually do happen to meet "that right person" in the next few months or years, then everything will work out the way it should. But right now I'm just looking to have fun and find out more about myself and life.

100 Things To Do Before I Turn 100 *revised*

So, I was looking through some old blog entries, and I had one from November of 2007 that had a list of 100 Things To Do Before I Turn 100. It made me happy because I have actually already accomplished some of the things on the list! But I decided that since it has been over a year, I am going to revamp that list. It may take me a few days to come up with that many things, but here is the start for now!

100 THINGS TO DO BEFORE I TURN 100 *REVISED EDITION*

1. Buy my own car.
2. Live and work in New York City,
3. Backpack through Europe with someone special.
4. Learn how to play the guitar.
5. Write a novel.
6. See Coldplay live.
7. Learn how to cook.
8. Go to a movie premiere.
9. Graduate from college.
10. Find someone who will stay up with me and watch the sunrise, just because.
11. Hear Barack Obama speak.
12. Ice skate on a real pond.
13. Learn how to cook my own vegetables.
14. Try to become a vegetarian.
15. Build a real snowman.
16. Visit Alaska.
17. Have a library in my future house.
18. Have dessert at the restaurant Serendipity in New York City.
19. Have a job that makes me happy, regardless of money.
20. Find a charity to donate to when I start my real job.
21. See the Northern Lights.
22. Go camping.
23. Be in a snowball fight.
24.

My First Vlog

BreakBreak

I got home last night for Christmas Break. Hopefully this will be a good and fun month! I start work on Thursday, which will be nice to have some money again! And thankfully Diane is back in town, because lord knows I have missed that girl like crazy! Day 1 of break was alright. I slept for 12 hours last night, which is crazy talk, because all semester I usually got about half that amount of sleep in one night. Then I woke up today at 1 p.m. and ate a nice lunch with the family. Then my sister and I went to the mall and Target to do some Christmas shopping. Then later I watched the movie Elizabethtown, which really grew on me. You know those movies or books or songs that take a few listens to really affect you? Yeah, this is one of those movies and I really enjoyed it! Now I'm just sitting here relaxing. Just doing some Christmas shopping tomorrow. :]

I've Never Seen Anybody Shine The Way You Do

Things are definitely looking up. :]
If only I didn't have to leave for a month. :)

Fearless

So, finally done with finals. However, I can't go home until tomorrow because that is when my ride is leaving. Can't believe another semester has passed. I love SFA so much and can't wait for spring semester!
Things have been interesting lately. Had to take care of some things on facebook last night. It was just something I needed to do so I won't dwell on things and won't get angered easily. Just because I broke it off doesn't mean it still won't affect me. But anyways, things are definitely looking up, but the winter break may put a damper on certain things for now anyway. But we shall just see what happens. :)

PICTURE TO BURN

L;AKJSL;NAVLKNAS;LIHRJOIWEANVLKDSANLFJDALISKNMVLKANSDLFKJASLKDNFLKAJSD





WTF. SERIOUSLY. WTF.

You Were Wrong, Miley Cyrus, You Can't Have The Best Of Both Worlds

It's true. Because of movies and television shows we expect that everything will work out the way we want them to, but the truth is life is way more complicated than that. People think in different ways and that is just the plain and simple truth. We are not going to get swept away on a magic carpet ride, or get woken up by Prince Charming. Maybe things might change one day, but until then many people just sit and wait for something to change overnight.

When All You Wanted Was To Be Wanted...

I really do wonder about certain members of the human race sometimes. Like, what makes them tick and do certain things. Things that normal people just don't do. But whatever. As long as I concentrate on myself, things will be okay. So only 5 days left in the semester. It went by really fast and I learned so much this semester in the classroom and most importantly outside. I learned what kind of person I want to be, and how I want to treat others. I learned that you can't have everything that you want and that everyone is different and has different tastes. I also learned that I need time for myself to figure things out. I am applying to seven (so far) different internships around the country and hope to be able to do one next summer. I want a change of pace from Texas and the opportunity to meet new people. I want to grow as a person and be out there by myself. Some people may not understand what I want, and that's fine with me. They will come to a point in their life when they feel the same, whether it be six months from now or six years from now. I am going to live my life for me, and not for anyone else.

Tell Me Why

So. Today was a semi-productive day. Woke up before my alarm went off at 11 and then got ready for the day and even accessorized which I never do anymore because I don't have time. Then had brunch with Stevie, Brandon, and Courtney around noon. Then came back to the room and did a conference call for the movie The Day The Earth Stood Still with Keanu Reeves, Jon Hamm, and Jennifer Connelly. It was pretty great to hear the sexy voice of Jon freaking Hamm from the other side of the phone, lemme tell you. Haha. So then we went to go have dindin at Taco Bell. Then went to the basketball game to watch some pwn-age. We won by like fifty points of course. Then came back to the room and watched six episodes of The Office, then I wrote my article, then we got hungie so went to Little Ceasars for fourth meal. Then watched six episodes of Sex And The City. So basically today was a lazy "watch tv on dvd day." lol but that is ok with me. Tomorrow is my last day of work for the semester. And then I go home on Friday which I am not really looking forward to. I mean, I miss my family and can't wait to spend some time with them, but I just don't like the feeling of being back in high school again. I don't want to hear any drama crap or anything because it's super lame, considering I've been out of high school for almost two years. But whatever. It's all good, I just have to concentrate on myself and getting somewhere.

Flashing Lights

Well today I woke up and went to go have breakfast with Brandon before class. Then I went to history of rock, and I thought he was going to go over what was on the final, but we just watched music videos the whole time. Which was cool, but it was kind of a waste of the class. I didn't have photography today, so I just went to the UC and sat on my computer for awhile and then had some lunch. Then I went to Copy Editing and it sucked as usual. Then, went to history of the cinema. We were watching Citizen Kane today, and I hate that movie so much. The only reason I went was because I needed to get the review. So, turns out our teacher had a doctors appointment, and he never showed up to class! So a TA comes in right after we finish the movie saying he will just email us the review. That was complete bs is what it was. So then I just went back to my room for awhile to wait for Courtney to finish with her stuff so we could go eat a magical dinner at Raisin' Cane's. Then we went to Blockbuster because she had a gift card, so we got There Will Be Blood, 1408, and We Are Marshall. Then Brandon came over and we decided to watch There Will Be Blood. It was alright. kind of lost interest after the first hour and a half and turned it off though.

Look After You

So, found out we don't have to take our Advertising exam! Thank god for that! Now I only have technically three finals because one is online this week and the other is a photography thing. However, apparantly God hates me because all my finals are on Thursday and Friday. I have one Tuesday, two on Thursday and one on Friday, which sucks because everyone and their dog goes home on the Thursdays of finals week. However, I don't really have to start studying until this weekend and Saturday so I can just relax until then. Tomorrow is my last day of class for the semester, and I only have three of them instead of the usual four so I can actually grab some lunch.
So I am sick of people who don't mind their own business. I mean, I know it's the internet so everyone is going to find out about stuff, but it gets really old after awhile to have people I haven't seen/talked to in a year and a half commenting/talking about certain things. It's none of their freaking business. I hate technology sometimes. Whatever, people can say what they want, it really doesn't matter considering people should be grown up since we've been out of high school for almost two years, but i guess some people never change.

White Elephant Post

So tonight was fun. Had the Young Dems Christmas partayyy. We had it over at Justin's house and there were about 15 of us there. It is quite funny to watch 25 year olds get drunk and hit on 18 year old boys. We played some Taboo and that was quite fun and dirty, of course. Then we voted on new officers and that took forever and a day. The position that took forever to decide was treasurer, which is funny because for the last three semesters no one has wanted to be treasurer. Then we played white elephant gift exchange, which was interesting. I ended up with A Clockwork Orange, which is great because I've always wanted to read that. Monday night I had the Pine Log Christmas party and that was pretty fun too. We had it over at Pat's house which is like out in the middle of east jesus nowhere, so i didn't have phone service the whole time we were there. She lives in this big victorian style house on the outskirts of town, which took 20 minutes of driving up and down the same road to find. We also did a white elephant exchange at this party, and some of the gifts included spam and little boys underwear. Always interesting.

And we know it's never simple, never easy

"I see your face in my mind as I drive away
'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way
People are people
And sometimes we change our minds
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

Mmm mmm mmmmmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm

Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie
It's the kind you don't really want to see
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand
And I can't breathe without you, but I have to
Breathe without you, but I have to

Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand
And I can't breathe without you, but I have to
Breathe without you, but I have to

It's 2AM
Feel like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me
It's 2AM
Feel like I just lost a friend
Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
Oh
I can't breathe without you, but I have to
Breathe without you, but I have to
Breathe without you, but I have to

Ohh
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."



Boy, if any song could relate to my life right now, this one is exactly it. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. I have never had to make a decision like that before and it was one of the, no....definitely the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Things in life don't always go as you planned, and sometimes you just have to make a go at things by yourself for awhile to figure everything out. I feel so bad for hurting him, but I had to do this for myself, because it wasn't being fair to anyone. I know that everything happens for a reason, and that this will teach me something in the long run. I need to be by myself for awhile. It's what I need for me, and although it's not necessarily a joyous decision, everything will be ok.